


Text Back

by ImpacticalJoker



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: AU, Autistic Marinette mention, Depressed Adrien mention, Gen, Group chat, Identity Reveal, Marinette POV, Maybe just a bit of plot, Nonbinary Marinette mention, Probably wont have plot, Sassy Adrien, Texting, cursing, our kids being dumb, puns, teenager convos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-07 14:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16855432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpacticalJoker/pseuds/ImpacticalJoker
Summary: Short little self-indulgent drabbles of the main four texting each other





	1. Bug Wife

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [MDR](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16172549) by [Yilena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yilena/pseuds/Yilena). 



> a lot of this was based off of some things my friends have said and i thought it was kinda funny

_**Marinette has been changed to marrynette** _  
_**Adrien has been changed to sadrien depreste** _  
_**Nino has been changed to niño** _  
_**Alya has been changed to all y'all** _

**marrynette** :  
Who changed my name  
Why

 **sadrien depreste** :  
:)

 **marrynette** :  
Adrien you're my friend how could you

 **niño** :  
he just wants all of our names to be puns

 **sadrien depreste** :  
wrong

 **niño** :  
what

 **all y'all** :  
leave him alone hes doing a good job smh  
ur name worries me tho

 **sadrien depreste** :  
it's a cry for help

 **niño** :  
jesus

 **sadrien depreste** :  
anyway  
no 'shoot today wanna hang

 **niño** :  
sure where

 **marrynette** :  
House is gonna be empty today I can make food

 **sadrien depreste** :  
no arguments from me  
study with good food here i come

 **niño** :  
you have one day off and you want to spend it by studying

 **sadrien depreste** :  
listen  
it's basically a reflex at this point

 **all y'all** :  
right

 **sadrien depreste** :  
sleep with your eyes open tonight

 **all y'all** :  
like youd do anything  
marshmellow boy

 **sadrien depreste** :  
i  
yeah you're right

 **marrynette** :  
What food do you guys want?

 **sadrien depreste** :  
croissants

 **marrynette** :  
Geez that was fast

 **niño** :  
croissants

 **all y'all** :  
croissants

 **marrynette** :  
Okay okay I get it  
I'll make like 20  
No more thsn that

 **sadrien depreste** :  
bich  
thsn

 **marrynette** :  
shut.  
Better get to work ttyl  
No more texting in class

 **niño** :  
fuk u

 **marrynette** :  
;P

 **all y'all** :  
and then there were 3  
whered adrien go

 **niño** :  
idk  
probably being a good student now

 **sadrien depreste** :  
i'm still here  
just multitasking  
i still wanna pass the class lol

 **niño** :  
theres like  
10 minutes of class left  
why are you still paying attention

 **sadrien depreste** :  
bc i'm a good student  
unlike you

 **niño** :  
hey  
ive got a c in physics

 **sadrien depreste** :  
only cause i helped you

 **niño** :  
yes and i deeply appreciate it

 **sadrien depreste** :  
uh huh sure

 **niño** :  
unfriended

 **sadrien depreste** :  
no come back i'm sorry!!!

 **niño** :  
you hurt me deeply, adrien  
how can i ever forgive you

 **all y'all** :  
the romantic tension is killing me  
anyway stop being a drama queen i have smth to tell u

 **niño** :  
what

 **all y'all** :  
you have a c-

 **niño** :  
whats the difference

 **sadrien depreste** :  
a -

 **niño** :  
shut up  
im outside

 **sadrien depreste** :  
one sec need to go to my locker

 **niño** :  
who uses their locker nowadays

 **sadrien depreste** :  
me b  
wait for me outside

 **niño** :  
k

 **marrynette** :  
Room's a mess so we're gonna hang out downstairs if that's cool  
Maybe play some mecha strike

 **niño** :  
hell no you always beat us

 **sadrien depreste** :  
i'll play it with you!!!

 **marrynette** :  
Friendship with nino ended Adrien's my best friend now

 **sadrien depreste** :  
:)))

 **niño** :  
yea you guys have your little pow wow alya and i can eat all the croissants

 **marrynette** :  
Jokes on you I can make more

 **niño** :  
you said you wouldnt

 **marrynette** :  
I Do What I Must

 **niño** :  
thats so ominous jesus

 **sadrien depreste** :  
you're a good friend mari  
my only true friend :')

 **marrynette** :  
You're welcome

 **niño** :  
where is alya anyway

 **marrynette** :  
She's reading over my shoulder  
heeyyy bitches

 **sadrien depreste** :  
hi alya!! :D

 **marrynette** :  
Don't enourage her

 **sadrien depreste** :  
bye alya!! D:  
  
                                                                                                                          ----  
**Group chat: all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

 **all y'all** :  
MAN DID U GUYS SEE LADYBUG HOLY SHIT  
MY BUG WIFE

 **sadrien depreste** :  
she's not your wife >:((  
you have nino

 **niño** :  
im hurt

 **marrynette** :  
Chat Noir did better anyway idk what you're talking about

 **sadrien depreste** :  
marinette knows what's up

 **all y'all** :  
nah  
bug wife

 **marrynette** :  
I, for one, am very offended  
I thought I was your wife

 **all y'all** :  
polygamy bitch

 **marrynette** :  
It's only polygamy if I consent

 **niño** :  
shes right  
dab

 **all y'all** :  
im breaking up with all of u then  
bug wife ftw

 **sadrien depreste** :  
rip  
don't make me steal your spleen

 **niño** :  
what the fuck

 **sadrien depreste** :  
did i stutter  
spleen or die

 **all y'all** :  
id die either way

 **sadrien depreste** :  
you cannot fathom my cleverness

 **niño** :  
you didnt even know what hot wheelz were until i told you

 **sadrien depreste** :  
cleverness does not equal intelligence

 **marrynette** :  
Doesn't it though

 **sadrien depreste** :  
you're ruinging this for me

 **niño** :  
ruinging

 **sadrien depreste** :  
You are already dead.  
anyway i kinda wanna go swimming

 **niño** :  
yo man me too

 **all y'all** :  
its ass degrees outside

 **sadrien depreste** :  
nino we are soul brothers  
also indoor pools exist

 **niño** :  
come to me brother

 **sadrien depreste** :  
brother

 **all y'all** :  
stop

 **marrynette** :  
You guys are my last three braincells

 **sadrien depreste** :  
haha relatable meme  
mari said a funny

 **marrynette** :  
I thought you were my friend

 **sadrien depreste** :  
all is fair in love and war

 **marrynette** :  
???

 **niño** :  
adrien loves marinette

 **sadrien depreste** :  
you're diddly darn right  
mari me

 **marrynette** :  
Bye

**marrynette left the chat**

**sadrien depreste** :  
no come back

 **niño** :  
look what you did  
im disappointed

 **sadrien depreste** :  
i'm sorry father

**Private message: Alya**

**Marinette** :  
Invite me back it was a joke

 **Alya** :  
https://discord.gg/F2vPyJ6

 **Marinette** :  
Thanks

**Group chat: all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**  
_**Marinette has joined the chat** _  
_**Marinette has been changed to marrynette** _

**sadrien depreste** :  
i'm  
so hurt  
you rejected my proposal

 **marrynette** :  
You punned, it was completely warranted

 **sadrien depreste** :  
you're the reason why i'm depreste

 **marrynette** :  
Don't make me leave again

 **sadrien depreste** :  
no!! D:

 **marrynette** :  
Kachow

\----  
**Group chat: all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

 **niño** :  
but that's because I love chat with all of the tiny part that lets me feel

 **marrynette** :  
What did I come back to

 **niño** :  
dont worry about it

 **all y'all** :  
hes fangirling over chat noir

 **marrynette** :  
I mean  
Me  
But why

 **niño** :  
dude saved my life today  
i owe him a romantic picnic on a beach

 **sadrien depreste** :  
i'll pass the message on ;))

 **niño** :  
youre the best

 **sadrien depreste** :  
i know, i know  
speaking of chat noir  
did you guys watch the press conference yesterday? i'm surprised alya hasn't said anything

 **niño** :

yeye about hawkmoth

 **sadrien depreste** :  
that one  
chat noir said some cool shit

 **marrynette** :  
I agree  
He was very influential yesterday  
I was impressed

 **all y'all** :  
hell yeah i wasnt expecting him to just  
blow up into a whole speech  
it was amazing

 **niño** :  
dude was all  
"hell yeah im gonna kick this guys ass even if it kills me" and i found that deep

 **sadrien depreste** :  
pretty sure that's not what he said

 **niño** :  
that speech went on for like 10 minutes do you reall expect me to type all of it

 **sadrien depreste** :  
for our lord and savior? yes

 **niño** :  
right  
even ladybug was dumbstruck

 **marrynette** :  
Could barely get a word out

 **all y'all** :  
i reckon shes just so in love with him she was too enamoured to say anything

 **marrynette** :  
I don't think so

 **niño** :  
ah yeah youre the one who doesnt ship it

 **sadrien depreste** :  
loser

 **marrynette** :  
My heart's broken

 **sadrien depreste** :  
i'm sorry!!

 **marrynette** :  
Too late  
Tell my family i love them

 **niño** :  
adieu

**Private message: Alya**

**Alya** :  
alright, spill

 **Marinette** :  
Spill what

 **Alya** :  
whats goin on w you and adrien  
ur acting awful comfy around him now

 **Marinette** :  
No I'm not

 **Alya** :  
the messages you guys are sending beg to differ  
tell me

 **Marinette** :  
I'm pretty sure it's easier to talk to him not face to face but go off I guess

 **Alya** :  
geez alright i wont push

 **Marinette** :  
Sorry, I'm just annoyed  
Nothing going on between us

 **Alya** :  
if u say so

**Group chat: all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**marrynette** :  
My heart is no longer broken  
I saw a pic of Chat Noir

 **sadrien depreste** :  
you got a crush on him or smth  
loser

 **marrynette** :  
No

 **sadrien depreste** :  
good  
i love him but he's a stinky boy

 **marrynette** :  
Don't be mean

 **sadrien depreste** :  
bitch baby

 **marrynette** :  
Don't do this to my boy

 **sadrien depreste** :  
i'm gonna steal his spleen

 **niño** :  
why

 **sadrien depreste** :  
i want it

 **all y'all** :  
valid point

 **sadrien depreste** :  
see alya understands me  
i love you mother

 **all y'all** :  
i love u too son  
my marshmellow boy

 **sadrien depreste** :  
:')

 **marrynette** :  
Gross

 **sadrien depreste** :  
memed on by mari once again

 **marrynette** :  
I'm getting new friends

  
\----

  
**Private message: Nino**

**Marinette** :  
Nino

 **Nino** :  
what up

 **Marinette** :  
i have a proposition

 **Nino** :  
oh no

 **Marinette** :  
Shut  
Anyway  
I wanted to know if we could add someone to our group chat  
Wanted to come to you since you were the one that made it

 **Nino** :  
depends  
do we all know them

 **Marinette** :  
Yes

 **Nino** :  
alrighty  
uh  
i guess its not a problem  
if it doesnt turn out well anyway we could always just kcik them out

 **Marinette** :  
Yeah I told them that they're cool with it  
Do I let them in now or

 **Nino** :  
one sec let me conspire with alya

 **Marinette** :  
Why not Adrien too

 **Nino** :  
cause i know he wont care

 **Marinette** :  
Fair

 **Nino** :  
she says she wants to know who it is first

 **Marinette** :  
It's a surprise

 **Nino** :  
christ  
yeah go ahead and let them in

 **Marinette** :  
You won't regret it

 **Nino** :  
i already do

**Group chat: all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**  
_**Alix has joined the chat** _

**Alix** :

sup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that discord link? self promo of my miraculous server lol


	2. Alixander the Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alix shakes up the routine, Adrien is no longer sad, and Marinette gets asked on a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit of a longer one (i think)!!!! i also realized the formatting looks very very weird on mobile i apologize

**Group chat: Alix, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**niño** :  
oh holy shit  
alix

**Alix** :  
thats my name

**sadrien depreste** :  
alix!!! where did you come from!!!

**Alix** :  
marinette

**marrynette** :  
You're all welcome

**sadrien depreste** :  
mari you're a blessing

**marrynette** :  
I know

**all y'all** :  
yo alix  
also dont get used to that name anymore adriens gonna change it probably

**Alix** :  
why

**marrynette** :  
Puns

_**Alix has been changed to alixander the great** _

**alixander the great** :  
ah i see now  
fair enough i like it

**marrynette** :  
Betrayal.

**alixander the great** :  
little did u know thats my middle name

**sadrien depreste** :  
i thought it was marcelle

**alixander the great** :  
i cant believe you outed me like this

**sadrien depreste** :  
i have a devious side too >:)

**niño** :  
im surprised too alix

**all y'all** :  
i taught my son well  
i nutted

**niño** :  
ew

**sadrien depreste** :  
you're welcome mom

**alixander the great** :  
this was a mistake

\----  
 **Group chat: alixander the great, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**niño** :  
oh yeah definitely  
hes the worst

**alixander the great** :  
one of these days hes gonna die from old age and i wont be disappointed

**sadrien depreste** :  
who are we talking about??

**alixander the great** :  
hawkmoth  
i say that cause hes like  
old  
right

**sadrien depreste** :  
adult aged

**alixander the great** :  
see  
all we have to do is wait until he dies

**marrynette** :  
We?

**alixander the great** :  
paris  
just buckle down and wait for him to leave the mortal plane

**marrynette** :  
I guess??  
It isn't exactly an instant solution

**alixander the great** :  
never said it was

**marrynette** :  
Valid  
Probably won't work though

**alixander the great** :  
its all hypothetical anyway

**sadrien depreste** :  
what if he's immortal  
what do we do then

**alixander the great** :  
outlive him  
this man needs to invest in a heart attack

**all y'all** :  
im so glad alix is here

**alixander the great** :  
yeah im pretty great  
so ive heard

**marrynette** :  
Aaaand that's my cue to leave  
See ya

**sadrien depreste** :  
party pooper

**alixander the great** :  
boooo

**marrynette** :  
My name might as well be sadrien depreste

**sadrien depreste** :  
that can be arranged

**marrynette** :  
Please don't

**sadrien depreste** :  
sigh i suppose i won't change it

**marrynette** :  
I'm proud of you for choosing the right thing

**sadrien depreste** :  
thank you mari  
i should take you somewhere nice  
double date with nino and chat noir on a beach perhaps?

**marrynette** :  
You'd ditch me for Nino

**sadrien depreste** :  
well yeah what did you expect me to do

**alixander the great** :  
what the hell are you guys talking about  
theres no beaches  
france is located in the middle of bullshit

**sadrien depreste** :  
stop ruining my dreams

**niño** :  
yeah what the hell alix  
votekick

**sadrien depreste** :  
votekick

**marrynette** :  
Guys no  
Why do I always have to be damage control

**niño** :  
because youre the only kinda sane person in here

**marrynette** :  
Well yeah but  
Y'all are too wild for me

**sadrien depreste** :  
you love us

**marrynette** :  
Unfortunately

\----

**Group chat: alixander the great, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**sadrien depreste** :  
i'd kin nino

**niño** :  
what

**sadrien depreste** :  
you know  
kin  
like otherkin and fictionkin

**niño** :  
why would you want to kin me

**alixander the great** :  
yeah why nino

**niño** :  
fuck off

**sadrien depreste** :  
language young man  
i'd kin nino cause he's my best bro

**niño** :  
bro  
id kin you too  
but how do you kin people

**sadrien depreste** :  
idk uh  
Consume Them

**niño** :  
dont

**alixander the great** :  
yeah i agree adrien  
we could just kin nino by swallowing him in a single mouthful

**all y'all** :  
wtf  
dont do that  
thats my job

**marrynette** :  
I regret coming online  
Please for the love of everything  
Don't consume Nino

**niño** :  
please save me  
i dont feel safe

**sadrien depreste** :  
you can't hide nino  
we all know where you live

**niño** :  
im scared

**alixander the great** :  
as you should be

**niño** :  
i need god in this chilis tonight  
jesus save me  
mari help

**marrynette** :  
There's no saving you now  
Adieu

**niño** :  
fuck  
at least make me into at least a 3 course meal

**sadrien depreste** :  
your last wishes will be granted

**niño** :  
thanks adrien youre the best  
too bad i wont get that date with chat noir

**sadrien depreste** :  
i'll go on the date for you  
i will be you after all

**niño** :  
yeah thats fair  
i give you my blessing

**sadrien depreste** :  
nice i'll treat him well

**niño** :  
you better

\----

**Group chat: alixander the great, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**alixander the great** :  
i stg if i see hawkmoth im going to use my 4'10" of rage and take him down  
gotta bring out the whip

**all y'all** :  
kinky

**alixander the great** :  
hes gonna wish it was the kinky kind by the time im done with him

**marrynette** :  
I think you should just leave it to Ladybug and Chat Noir

**alixander the great** :  
nah mate  
punch him right in the gob

**sadrien depreste** :  
i'm pretty sure he towers over you  
will you even be able to reach his face

**alixander the great** :  
ill aim for the knees  
his face will be within reach then

**niño** :  
give alix a miraculous 2k18

**alixander the great** :  
^^^  
i deserve it

**marrynette** :  
I don't think you do

**alixander the great** :  
ill talk to lb myself then  
i could tank  
alya reach out to them on the ladyblog

**all y'all** :  
whats in it for me?

**alixander the great** :  
my appreciation

**all y'all** :  
yeah i guess

**marrynette** :  
Don't give in  
Fight it Alya

**all y'all** :  
i cant im sry  
logging in now

**alixander the great** :  
nice

**niño** :  
this convo is cursed  
adrien pass on a message for me

**sadrien dpereste** :  
ye

**niño** :  
tell chat to not give her a miraculous

**sadrien depreste** :  
ye

**alixander the great** :  
adrien i thought we were friends  
traitor

**sadrien depreste** :  
bros come first  
u aint one

**niño** :  
ooooooh shit  
fuck you alix

**alixander the great** :  
no u

\----

**Group chat: alixander the great, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**niño** :  
adrien  
change alixs name to asslick

**alixander the great** :  
do it and you die

**sadrien depreste** :  
i'm not that mean  
besides alixander is cool

**alixander the great** :  
adrien i owe u like  
money  
dont know an amount yet

**sadrien depreste** :  
don't pay me just like  
give me food  
please

**alixander the great** :  
done

**sadrien depreste** :  
youve made me not depreste :')

_**sadrien depreste has been changed to sadrien not depreste** _

**alixander the great** :  
nice  
how about hapdrien

_**sadrien not depreste has been changed to hapdrien not depreste** _

**hapdrien not depreste** :  
my serotonin levels are off the charts  
depression = gone  
thanks alix

**alixander the great** :  
you are very welcome  
how does 5 croissants sound

**hapdrien not depreste** :  
perfect

**\----**

**Private message: Adrien**

**Adrien** :  
mari

**Marinette** :  
Yeah

**Adrien** :  
i'm free this weekend  
wanna hang out

**Marinette** :  
Just  
The two of us?  
Or

**Adrien** :  
i don't mind  
unless you wanted others to come along

**Marinette** :  
Oh no no just the two of us is fine  
Any particular reason?

**Adrien** :  
mm not really  
i spend a whole lot of time with nino and alya, just cause  
theyre together  
but i dont really get to hang out with you very much  
even when we're in a group you kinda get drowned out  
idk  
sorry i'm rambling

**Marinette** :  
Don't worry you're fine  
I'd love to hang out actually

**Adrien** :  
sweet. does saturday sound good?  
give you enough time to think of what youd like to do

**Marinette** :  
Yeah of course it's good!  
I'll message you sometime later today with some ideas?

**Adrien** :  
sounds good!! i gotta go but i'll message you later!!

**Marinette** :  
See ya!

**Private message: Alya**

**Marinette** :   
Hey uh

**Alya** :  
hm?

**Marinette** :  
I think I just got asked out

**Alya** :  
on a date???

**Marinette** :  
Yeah?? I'm not completely sure

**Alya** :  
oh man mari this is awesome!!  
who is it???? when???

**Marinette** :  
Saturday  
With Adrien


	3. Turtle Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Adrien are getting closer and Alya is a good mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanna introduce ladybug and chat noir into this but idk how. ill figure it out

**Alya:**  
really  
are u being serious

**Marinette** :  
Are you accusing me of lying  
I can send screenshots to prove it

**Alya** :  
no i  
i believe you  
holy shit  
i need to tell nino  
i really didnt think hed make the first move  
then again youd never make a move anyway

**Marinette** :  
Stop spamming ffs  
Don't tell Nino

**Alya** :  
alright fine but  
holy SHIT  
YOUR CRUSHED ASKED YOU OUT

**Marinette** :  
Yeah he did  
Oh shit  
HE DID

**Alya** :  
ah it just sunk in

**Marinette** :  
YEAH  
WHAT DO I DO

**Alya** :  
go on the date? what else lol

**Marinette** :  
I CANT  
No you're right  
I can't back out now  
Oh no

**Alya** :  
youll be fiiine

**Marinette** :  
I'll be fine

**Alya** :  
yes

**Marinette** :  
Maybe

\----

**Group chat: alixander the great, all y'all, niño, hapdrien not depreste**

**alixander the great** :  
you guys are quiet tonight  
come entertain me

**hapdrien not depreste** :  
what do you meme i'm here

**alixander the great** :  
suck my penis.

_**hapdrien not depreste has been changed to sadrien depreste** _

**niño** :  
look at what youve done

**sadrien depreste** :  
:'(((

**alixander the great** :  
watch it turtle boy

**niño** :  
why turtle boy

**alixander the great** :  
you kinda look like a turtle  
idk

**niño** :  
when im done with you you wont be able to shit

**alixander the great** :  
why are you threatening me

**niño** :  
you hurt my son

**sadrien depreste** :  
get ready for one hell of a shituation

**niño** :  
shut up

**sadrien depreste** :  
i thought you loved me  
mari help everyone's being mean to me now

**marrynette** :  
Don't hurt the poor boy

**niño** :  
youre right im sorry

**sadrien depreste** :  
forgiven  
for now

**niño** :  
bless  
anyway alix is brain dead

**alixander the great** :  
the only thing thats dead is your fucking future

\----  
 **Private message: Nino**

**Nino** :  
hey i heard someones goin on a date this weekend

**Marinette** :  
Why do you know this

**Nino** :  
alya told me

Marinette:  
Of course she did

**Nino** :  
before you say anything to her  
she didnt tell me who it is

**Marinette** :  
I thought I was gonna have to beat her again

**Nino** :  
again?  
nvm i dont want to know  
hope it turnns out great

**Marinette** :  
Thanks Nino

**Nino** :  
no problemo

\----  
 **Group chat: alixander the great, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**sadrien depreste** :  
ye i'm kinda not feeling great today  
not exactly sad just uh  
numb?

**alixander the great** :  
id say smth nice but thatd be out of character

**niño** :  
haha

**all y'all** :  
the poor boy says hes feeling numb and you fuckers meme on him

**sadrien depreste** :  
my name isn't sadrien depreste for nothin :'^)  
anyway alix thats understandable  
i know youre subconsiously giving me love

**alixander the great** :  
yeah im a good friend

**sadrien depreste** :  
the best

**niño** :  
gross  
just pick alix up and take her somewhere else  
go be weird not here  
shes not heavy shes like  
idk   
very light

**alixander the great** :  
my hand will be heavy on your face

**niño** :  
can you even reach my face

**alixander the great** :  
i can reach your dick  
wanna test how strong my kicks are

**niño** :  
not particularly

**alixander the great** :  
exactly

\----  
 **Private message: Adrien**

**Marinette** :  
I don't mean to pry but  
Are you okay?

**Adrien** :  
i will be

**Marinette** :  
That doesn't answer my question  
If we need to call saturday off we can, I don't mind

**Adrien** :  
no no not at all  
it'd honestly be great to get my mind off of things and enjoy myself for once  
unless you changed your mind?

**Marinette** :  
I haven't  
I was actually thinking we could go eat somewhere and just talk? If that's okay?  
Geez that sounded pathetic

**Adrien** :  
yeah that's cool!!! it wasnt weird dw  
also food 

**Marinette** :  
You're a dork  
It's getting late, you should get some sleep soon

**Adrien** :  
i actually have somewhere to be, i'll get to sleep as soon as i can  
just for you ;)))

**Marinette** :  
Good  
We don't need zombie Adrien  
Lemme know if you need anything  
Or if you wanna talk about what's bothering you

**Adrien** :  
thanks, marinette. good night

\----  
 **Group chat: alixander the great, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**marrynette** :  
I'm gonna be gone later today  
Evening

**sadrien depreste** :  
same here

**alixander the great** :  
thats not suspicious

**marrynette** :  
What

**alixander the great** :  
dont worry about it

**sadrien depreste** :  
tell us

**alixander the great** :  
no

**sadrien depreste** :  
You are already dead.

**alixander the great** :  
thats what u think  
you guys have fun with whatever youre doing  
nino and alya would never ditch me

**all y'all** :  
im here child

**alixander the great** :  
feed me from your great teat mother

**all y'all** :  
im  
so uncomfortable

**alixander the great** :  
im hungry mother  
please  
the teat

**marrynette** :  
I changed my mind im gonna be gone uh  
Right now

**sadrien depreste** :  
yeah me too  
this is weird

**alixander the great** :  
bye losers  
the plan worked, theyre gone

**niño** :  
why did you want them gone

**alixander the great** :  
watching them dance around each other is so awkward  
i mean  
im all for eliminating romance but you and alya are tolerable  
theyre just  
something else

**niño** :  
thanks i think

**sadrien depreste** :  
i'm still here  
and dead

**alixander the great** :  
someone tell marinette that necrophilia isnt good

**niño** :  
bye

\----  
 **Private message: Alya**

**Alya** :  
how do u look  
did u brush your teeth  
dont be late  
i swear to god if youre late

**Marinette** :  
I look fine, yes I brushed my teeth, I'm not late  
Everything's fine  
He's on his way

**Alya** :  
i cant believe how chill youre acting  
its amazing

**Marinette** :  
Well it's just that  
Acting  
I'm actually freaking out a lot

**Alya** :  
itll go smoothly i promise  
remember what i told you  
no awkward silences  
you guys are friends anyway it shouldnt be a problem

**Marinette** :  
I've got those conversation starters too just in case

**Alya** :  
good  
my little marinette is growing up

**Marinette** :  
Shut  
I need to let my phone charge I'll text back later

**Alya** :  
have fun  
dont trip over anything  
i want every detail when you get home alright  
nino says good luck

**Marinette** :  
No promises  
Thanks ninny

 

 

\----  
 **Private message: Adrien**

**Adrien** :  
i had a lot of fun tonight, thanks for going with me  
i really appreciate it

**Marinette** :  
It's no problem, I had a lot of fun too  
I wouldn't mind going out again sometime soon

**Adrien** :  
agreed  
it doesn't always have to be dinner either  
we can do anything youd like

**Marinette** :  
I picked dinner, you can pick next time

**Adrien** :   
you sure?

**Marinette** :  
If I wasn't do you think I would've suggested it?

**Adrien** :  
yeah that's fair  
i've got to head out soon, i'll talk to you in the morning?

**Marinette** :  
You're going out somewhere?

**Adrien** :  
oh yeah   
i like to stroll around the mansion gardens before i sleep  
it calms me down, helps clear my head

**Marinette** :  
I see  
Have fun with that, get some rest soon okay?

**Adrien** :  
i will, i promise  
good night, princess


	4. Hydrate or Die-drate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette exposes some things about herself, Alix goes through many name changes, and a second date is discussed. Marinette's secret identity is too close for comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the tags for this chapter. nothin too crazy, just some simple ones (there is mild talk of mental illness and masturbation but nothing too in depth)

**Private message: Alya**

**Alya** :  
okay  
so  
howd it go

**Marinette** :  
It was good

**Alya** :  
just good?

**Marinette** :  
Yeah I mean  
It went well  
I don't think I messed anything up

**Alya** :  
look at u doing so good

**Marinette** :  
It went so "good" that we're having a second date  
Date? I think it was a date

**Alya** :  
it was definitely a date  
where to

**Marinette** :  
I'm not entirely sure yet, I told him  
he could pick what we do next time

**Alya** :  
oooooh such a gentlewoman

**Marinette** :  
Mmm I'd prefer gentleperson but yeah I guess I am

**Alya** :  
you got it gentleperson  
have u guys picked a day yet

**Marinette** :  
I'm guessing next weekend?  
I think he's only free on saturdays

**Alya** :  
makes sense  
let mama alya kno if u need a makeover when the time comes

**Marinette** :  
Will do mom

\---  
 **Group chat: alixander the great, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**sadrien depreste** :  
i'm tired can we change the topic to something easy to follow

**alixander the great** :  
go lay down whore

_**alixander the great has been changed to alixander the terrible** _

**alixander the terrible** :  
ouch

**niño** :  
you deserve it

**sadrien depreste** :  
>:^(

**marrynette** :  
What were we talking about?

**all y'all** :  
finals

**marrynette** :  
Ah, a normal person's glimpse at depression

**sadrien depreste** :  
for me it's like  
depression times 2

**alixander the terrible** :  
you get good marks on every single one tho

**sadrien depreste** :  
yeah but that's cause i actually study  
which takes up a lot of my free time  
especially during the big tests

**niño** :  
just do what we did last year and make a study group  
hanging out wit friends plus studying

**sadrien depreste** :  
did you forget what happened that one time

**alixander the terrible** :  
what happened

**all y'all** :  
we dont speak of it

**alixander the terrible** :  
was it dirty

**all y'all** :  
what  
no  
we just got in trouble

**alixander the terrible** :  
with the law?

**niño** :  
this is why youre terrible

**alixander the terrible** :  
yeah thats fair  
remind me to not eat 4 slices of pizza again

**niño** :  
why

**alixander the terrible** :  
a bitch has heartburn

**marrynette** :  
Don't eat 4 slices of pizza again

**alixander the terrible** :  
thanks marinette

**marrynette** :  
:)

**sadrien depreste** :  
hydrate or die-drate

**alixander the terrible** :  
burn

**sadrien depreste** :  
looks like you already did ;))

**marrynette:**  
No puns now  
Let's be good people

\---  
 **Group chat: alixander the terrible, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**alixander the terrible** :  
question  
are mental illness jokes allowed

**niño** :  
i guess if they arent too bad and you arent being serious go ahead  
ik adrien jokes around about his depression to feel better

**marrynette** :  
I give you the green light

**alixander the terrible** :  
are you allowed to

**all y'all** :  
she has autism

**alixander the terrible** :  
wait really

**marrynette** :  
Yeah

**alixander the terrible** :  
that  
makes so much sense

**marrynette** :  
Yeah not the first time I've heard that

**alixander the terrible** :  
cool  
if you ever want me to stop with aforementioned jokes lemme kno  
i may be a dick but im an intentional dick

**marrynette** :  
Yeah I figured you wouldn't be a jerk on accident  
I know you deep down

**alixander the terrible** :  
im scared what does that mean

**marrynette** :  
Don't worry about it

_**alixander the terrible has been changed to alixander the not so terrible** _

**alixander the not so terrible** :  
my name has evolved so much  
its so long  
liek my dick

**sadrien depreste** :  
you're lucky i didn't make it asslick be grateful

**alixander the not so terrible** :  
oh i know and i am

**marrynette** :  
She's just a dick

**alixander the not so terrible** :  
yeah basically

**sadrien depreste** :  
i'll try to think of something shorter later i gtg tho

**alixander the not so terrible** :  
ciao

\---  
 **Group chat: alixander the not so terrible, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**niño** :  
yea but its like  
marinette for example  
she couldnt be ladybug  
too clumsy

**marrynette** :  
I'm offended

**niño** :  
are you ladybug

**marrynette** :  
No

**niño** :  
my point stands, then  
hmm  
how about chat noir  
are any of u him

**alixander the not so terrible** :  
i am

**niño** :  
shut up alix  
 _@sadrien depreste_ are you here

**sadrien depreste** :  
yes

**niño** :  
do you know who he is

**sadrien depreste** :  
just cause we're friends doesn't mean i know anything about him

**niño** :  
you didnt answer my question  
yall adriens chat noir

**sadrien depreste** :  
where did that conclusion come from  
i'm not a bitch baby

**marrynette** :  
I will forcibly remove you from Paris

**sadrien depreste** :  
do it you won't

_**alixander the not so terrible has been changed to alixander hamilton** _

**alixander hamiton** :  
thats better  
wheres alya

**niño** :  
shes with me  
says hi

**marrynette** :  
Hi Alya ily

**niño** :  
dont encourage her to cheat on me

**marrynette** :  
You aren't the boss of me smh

**niño** :  
ill kick you from the chat  
i wont actually

**marrynette** :  
Pussy

\---  
 **Group chat: alixander hamilton, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**sadrien depreste** :  
hey  
i can control my funky boy hormones

**marrynette** :  
I regret coming online

**sadrien depreste** :  
no wait listen  
we were debating about how much jerking off is too much

**marrynette** :  
You're not helping your case

**alixander hamilton** :  
i said about 3 times a week is good what do you think

**marrynette** :  
I think I'm going to leave and do my hw

**niño** :  
i said max 5 times a week  
some days are better than others

**all y'all** :  
what does that even mean nino  
which days are the better days???

**niño** :  
thats up to interpretation  
anyway adriens a loser he says 2 times a week

**sadrien depreste** :  
don't judge me

**marrynette** :  
Maybe masturbation is a spectrum

**niño** :  
did you just  
make an autism joke

**alixander hamilton** :  
our lord and savior  
i cant believe you made one before i did  
as mild as that one was

**marrynette** :  
I'm cooler than u  
look i can even type without any capital letters  
am i part of the cool kids club now

**alixander hamilton** :  
yes you are

**marrynette** :  
nice

\---  
 **Private message: Alix**

**Alix** :  
are you awake

**Marinette** :  
Yeah why

**Alix** :  
are you ladybug  
like  
for real im not joking

**Marinette** :  
Why do you ask

**Alix** :  
im curious  
when nino asked you earlier  
you answered too quickly  
you didnt even joke around saying that you wish you were

**Marinette** :  
That's not exactly enough info to know if I'm Ladybug or not

**Alix** :  
doesnt matter  
you still havent answered my question

**Marinette** :  
No, I'm not Ladybug  
I'm nothing like her, idk where you got that assumption from

**Alix** :  
if you say so  
im not gonna tell anyone we had this chat

**Marinette** :  
Thanks  
Was that a pun

**Alix** :  
interpet it how you will

**Marinette** :  
You suck

\---  
 **Group chat: alixander hamilton, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**all y'all** :   
yeah ig this ladybug suit turns me on a bit

**marrynette** :  
It's skintight I'd assume so  
You're wearing underwear underneath it right

**all y'all** :  
yes ofc im not gross  
now that im dressed as my wife i need a chat noir  
adrien

**sadrien depreste** :  
no

**all y'all** :  
why tho

**sadrien depreste** :  
i don't have cosplay of him  
if u want another ladybug tho i'm down

**all y'all** :  
no i am the true bug  
u just wanna go so u can see me dressed as ur crush  
marinette u have cn cosplay right

**marrynette** :  
Yeah do you want me to go with you

**alixander hamilton** :  
go where  
whats happening

**marrynette** :  
There's a con next weekend  
Alya's cosplay just came in

**all y'all** :  
yeah mari go with me  
lesbian miraculous team ftw  
bye nino it was fun while it lasted

**marrynette** :  
He's so sad he won't even come online  
Look at what you've done

**all y'all** :  
im kidding  
if he wants to come as carapace or rena rouge i wouldnt care

**marynette** :  
^^^  
I just need to make sure I'm free that day

**alixander hamilton** :  
can i come

**all y'all** :  
are u cosplaying

**alixander hamilton** :  
yea

**all y'all** :  
who

**alixander hamilton** :  
me

**all y'all** :  
...  
ill figure smth out for u

**alixander hamilton** :  
thanks mom

\---  
 **Private message: Adrien**

**Adrien** :  
saturday  
how does ice cream sound

**Marinette** :  
You talked to Alya didn't you

**Adrien** :  
i  
yeah  
but that's beside the point  
you love ice cream  
i love ice cream  
and ice cream dates are always great

**Marinette** :  
As long as you're okay with it

**Adrien** :  
yeah of course i am  
can i ask you something

**Marinette** :  
Shoot

**Adrien** :  
are these dates like  
dates  
or date dates  
romantic dates

**Marinette** :  
I don't know, what's the answer you're looking for?

**Adrien** :  
i mean  
i haven'y really seen them as either tbh  
if that makes sense??  
i wouldn't mind if they were romantic  
cause i've never been on an actual date before  
but i totally get it if you want them to be platonic  
i've just avoided putting a label on anything because i didn't know what   
you were cofortable with  
i'm rambling again sorry

**Marinette** :  
Lol it's okay, I know how you feel  
We can slow down a bit if you're getting overwhelmed

**Adrien** :  
if that's okay  
sorry there's just  
this is hard cause there's another girl i like?  
liked  
past tense  
and i'm trying to get over her but it's been difficult  
you're not a rebound don't worry  
i actually got over her cause i realized how great you are and  
i didn't actually know you very well and  
and i'm rambling again

**Marinette** :  
You don't need to apologize for rambling, god knows I do it way too much  
We can go slower, I really don't mind  
I know how getting over a crush is  
I'm here to help if you need it

**Adrien** :  
thank you, it means a lot to me  
i'm off to go uh  
walk  
see you at school tomorrow

**Marinette** :  
Good night!!

\---  
 **Private message: Alya**

**Marinette** :  
Date 2 is a go

**Alya** :  
nice


	5. Bugger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette admits her secret while finding out another one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got so confusing to me while i was writing it lol hopefully it all ties together in a clear way

**Marinette has logged out**   
**LB has logged in**

**Private message: CN**

**LB** :  
Alright so this is important business  
No messaging me outside of work

**CN** :  
you think so little of me

**LB** :  
It's warranted  
So I really need to tell you something that I was too nervous to bring up during patrol  
Which is why I suggested exchanging our usernames

**CN** :  
you got a bf?

**LB** :  
Well  
Yeah(?)  
But that's not what I was talking about

**CN** :  
tell me then

**LB** :  
I think someone knows who I am  
Or they're close to figuring it out

**CN** :  
oh  
that's not good  
who is it

**LB** :  
I can't tell you  
All I'll say is they're in my class

**CN** :  
and when did this happen?

**LB** :  
Last night

**CN** :  
man you gotta be careful bug  
i'm actually surprised no one's figured me out yet  
i'm not exactly conspicuous

**LB** :  
You're the worst

**CN** :  
you love me <333

**LB** :  
I have a boyfriend remember

**CN** :  
ah yeah that reminds me  
i've got a gf now

**LB** :  
Finally  
Never thought I'd see the day

**CN** :  
i'm hurt  
goin to bed  
patrol tomorrow?

**LB** :  
Yup, see you

**CN** :  
night

**LB has logged out**   
**Marinette has logged in**

**Group chat: alixander hamilton, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**marrynette** :  
Hey

**alixander hamilton** :  
finally  
whereve you been  
you and adrien havent been answering anything

**marrynette** :  
I'm not online at every waking second like you guys  
I have stuff to do  
And so does Adrien

**alixander hamilton** :  
shut

**marrynette** :  
Did you need me for something

**alixander hamilton** :  
i need you to prove something

**marrynette** :  
What

**alixander hamilton** :  
do you think that one chick adrien fences with is ladybug

**marrynette** :  
Kagami?

**alixander hamilton** :  
yeah  
ninos saying yes, im saying no

**niño** :  
th two basically look the same  
and theyre both badass

**marrynette** :  
They don't look exactly the same my god  
people are allowed to have the same hair color Nino  
Also wasn't Kagami akumatized?

**niño** :  
oh you think youre so smart   
do you know who ladybug is

**marrynette** :  
What if I do?

**niño** :  
sneaky bastard

**marrynette** :  
I'm leaving forever goodbye

\---

**Group chat: alixander hamilton, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**niño** :  
help how do i pick up chicks

**sadrien depreste** :  
touch booby

**alixander hamilton** :  
youre 16 and you still say booby

**sadrien depreste** :  
listen

**marrynette** :  
Nino you already have a chick

**niño** :  
yeah and i wanna pick her up

**all y'all** :  
dont touch my boobies

**sadrien depreste** :  
i've made a mistake

**marrynette** :  
Don't touch her boobies without her consent

**sadrien depreste** :  
stop you're making me sad

**niño** :  
alya lemme touch your boobies

**sadrien depreste** :  
you guys aren't my friends anymore

\---

**Marinette has logged out**   
**LB has logged in**

**Private message: CN**

**CN** :  
hey i got a question  
u there?  
hello?  
bug  
it's important  
sleep with your eyes open tonight

**LB** :  
Christ calm down  
I can't be logged in on both of my accounts at the same time

**CN** :  
you have 2 accounts?

**LB** :  
Yeah? I have friends on here I talk to

**CN** :  
ah same  
anyway, my question  
is the person who's getting close to figuring you out marinette?

**LB** :  
The baker girl?

**CN** :  
dupain-cheng? yeah

**LB** :  
I  
Yes, it is  
She's too smart for her own good  
I'm kinda tempted to approach her and say  
"Look my identity is confidential if you find out I have to kill you"

**CN** :  
don't  
she's in my class, i could like  
approach her with it

**LB** :  
She's in your class?  
Don't approach her that's literally the worst idea you've ever had  
You're gonna reveal yourself  
And then we'll really have to kill her

**CN** :  
no!!!  
she's cool  
no hurting marinette

**LB** :  
Fine  
GTG see ya later

**CN** :  
bye :)

**LB has logged out**   
**Marinette has logged in**

\---  
 **Private message: Alix**

**Alix** :  
kinda convenient you were gone the entire time the akuma was rampaging

**Marinette** :  
Why are you harrassing me  
I was hiding

**Alix** :  
uh huh  
where

**Marinette** :  
Girls' bathroom

**Alix** :  
nice try  
didnt see you in there while i was hiding

**Marinette** :  
Fuck off

**Alix** :  
c'mooon  
you can trust me  
do you really think id tell anyone?

**Marinette** :  
I don't know, that's the problem

**Alix** :  
hawkmoth wont get a word out of me  
in fact, no one will  
im an intentional dick, remember?  
do you really think im going to put the person keeping us  
safe in danger?  
cant believe you think so little of me

**Marinette** :  
Alright fine stop spamming  
Yes I'm Ladybug

**Alix** :  
nice  
does anyone else know

**Marinette** :  
No

**Alix** :  
not even chat noir? im surprised  
given how in loooove he is with you  
no wonder you dont ship ladynoir

**Marinette** :  
He doesn't actually like me anymore  
He got a gf

**Alix** :  
oh shit  
do you know who it is?

**Marinette** :  
Nope, too much info

**Alix** :  
ah fair  
lips are sealed btw  
id recommend deleting our chat history if you dont want anyone reading it on accident

**Marinette** :  
You do it too

**Alix** :  
roger that

\---  
 **Group chat: alixander hamilton, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**marrynette** :  
Hey guys

**sadrien depreste** :  
mari just the person i was looking for

**marrynette** :  
You could've just pmmed me

**sadrien depreste** :  
details

**marrynette** :  
What did you need to tell me

**sadrien depreste** :  
bepis!

**niño** :  
bepis!

**all y'all** :  
bepis!

**alixander hamilton** :  
bepis!

**marrynette** :  
What the hell  
Why

**sadrien depreste** :  
that's not actually it  
i was gonna ask  
do u know who ladybug is  
you mentioned it yesterday but idk if you were joking or not

**alixander hamilton** :  
oh yeah she knows ladybug

**marrynette** :  
Alix you are the first to die

**alixander hamilton** :  
only if you can catch me sucker

**marrynette** :  
Your short legs can only take you so far

**niño** :  
you werent joking???

**marrynette** :  
I was  
Alix is just being a dick

**alixander hamilton** :  
its what i do  
but she does actually know who ladybug is

**marrynette** :  
Stop

**all y'all** :  
um??? tell us??

**marrynette** :  
No what the hell  
It was an accident  
I'm not gonna out her like that  
It's called a secret identity for a reason I'm not saying shit

**all y'all** :  
ill get it out of u one way or another

**marrynette** :  
I'm being serious  
My mouth is closed

**all y'all** :  
fine

**alixander hamilton** :  
hey doesnt adrien know chat noir

**sadrien depreste** :  
n  
no

**alixander hamilton** :  
i bet you do  
id go as far and say youre chat noir

**sadrien depreste** :  
do i look like i have the time to run around paris in a bdsm suit  
ive got a busy schedule to uphold

**alixander hamilton** :  
yeah youre right  
gtg ill be back later

**niño** :  
bye

\---  
 **Private message: Alix**

**Marinette** :  
You're dying tonight

**Alix** :  
;)

\---  
 **Group chat: alixander hamilton, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**niño** :  
so he asked me which one i wanted  
and i got banned  
because i said "whatever tickles your peach"

**sadrien depreste** :  
HFJDKHFDH  
NINO

**marrynette** :  
What's goin on

**sadrien depreste** :  
nino got banned from roblox

**marrynette** :  
Nino you're almost 17 why are you playing roblox

**niño** :  
its relaxing

**marrynette** :  
No??? Not really??

**niño** :  
listen  
i really only go on there to bully kids

**marrynette** :  
Why  
For the love of anything

**niño** :  
its the only way i can feel empowered

**marrynette** :  
You're horrible

**niño** :  
i think you mean empowered ;))

**marrynette** :  
Shut up

**sadrien depreste** :  
don't get bloxed by anyone nino

**marrynette** :  
That was the worst pun I've ever heard

**alixander hamilton** :  
adriens chat noir confirmed

**sadrien depreste** :  
i'm bloxxing you

**alixander hamilton** :  
nooo  
how am i supposed to work undercover to make ladynoir canon

**marrynette** :  
Alix you're the worst  
It won't happen anyway  
They're dating different people already

**alixander hamilton** :  
are you sure about that  
what if theyre dating each other as civilians

**marrynette** :  
I  
Don't think so

**alixander hamilton** :  
it could happen you never know  
you know who ladybug is  
whos she dating

**marrynette** :  
I'm not telling  
You're literally the worst person ever

**alixander hamilton** :  
thats my job bugger

**marrynette** :  
Don't call me that

_**marrynette has been changed to bugger** _

**bugger** :  
Who did this  
It was either Nino or Adrien  
Someone come clean

**sadrien depreste** :  
it was nino check audit

**bugger** :  
Unfriended  
Protect your fingers

**niño** :  
im scared

**bugger** :  
It was warranted

**niño** :  
yeah youre right

\---  
 **Marinette has logged out**  
 **LB has logged in**

**Private message: CN**

**LB** :  
How'd your investigation go

**CN** :  
i'm even more confused than i was before  
i did end up confronting her

**LB** :  
I  
Told you not to  
Do you know how to read

**CN** :  
i'm a rebellious child  
anyway i have something to say  
she's been acting weird around another one of her friends  
alix?  
it's like  
they banter but it's been more bantery lately  
almost like they have some kind of inside joke if that makes sense

**LB** :  
Yup  
So what do you think?

**CN** :  
not sure  
i have some other things to test out

**LB** :  
Test?  
Don't go too wild  
We don't need both of our identities compromised

**CN** :  
yadda yada whatever  
see ya

**LB** :  
Later

**LB has logged out**   
**Marinette has logged in**

**Private message: Alix**

**Marinette** :  
Alright listen  
Chat Noir is getting way too close to figuring me out  
You seriously need to stop  
This isn't a joke and it's not funny

**Alix** :  
shut up i have a plan  
its to draw attention away from you

**Marinette** :  
???

**Alix** :  
youll see  
you just need to trust me  
i wouldnt put you in danger on purpose, im sorry for worrying you

**Marinette** :  
Fine

\---

**Group chat: alixander hamilton, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**alixander hamilton:**  
nino change his name quick

_**sadrien depreste has been changed to secretly chat noir** _

**secretly chat noir** :  
jokes on you i can just change it back

_**secretly chat noir has been changed to sadrien depreste** _

**sadrien depreste** :  
fuck u guys

**bugger** :  
Losers

**sadrien depreste** :  
shut  
mari i have a question  
since you know ladybug and alix wont say anything

**bugger** :  
Don't

**sadrien depreste** :  
is  
alix ladybug

**bugger** :  
What  
No  
Don't you guys use your brains at all??  
She's been akumatized???

**alixander hamilton** :  
dumbass

**sadrien depreste** :  
alix is evil

**alixander hamilton** :  
you know it

**bugger** :  
I'm on a lone island of sanity  
Amidst a sea of people arguing over who Ladybug is

**all y'all** :  
true poetry  
if alix isnt ladybug then she at least knows who she is  
weve seen u and her being all weird lately dont deny it

**alixander hamilton** :  
mouth is shut fuck u

**all y'all** :  
no u

**Private message: Alix**

**Alix** :   
you ruined my plan

**Marinette** :  
???

**Alix** :  
I wanted them to think that im ladybug  
it worked for a bit and i think we ended up confusing them even more  
which is great  
not the desired results but thats fine

**Marinette** :  
You're horrible

**Group chat: alixander hamilton, all y'all, niño, sadrien depreste**

**niño** :  
have yall heard about that new cheese

**sadrien depreste** :  
new cheese?

**alixander hamilton** :  
yeah you havent heard?

**sadrien depreste** :  
what's it called?

**niño** :  
frottage

**sadrien depreste** :  
i have no idea what that is  
never heard it

**alixander hamilton** :  
yeah cause its new  
can you read

**sadrien depreste** :  
im getting the sinking feeling i'm the buttend of a joke  
im gonna search it up i dont believe you guys

**bugger** :  
Adrien no

**niño** :  
yeah look it up its some kinda fancy shit

**sadrien depreste** :  
alright brb

**bugger** :  
You guys are horrible people

**sadrien depreste** :  
frottage is Not Cheese  
nino i trusted you

**niño** :  
you trusted wrong  
get wrecked

**sadrien depreste** :  
:((  
i won't be able to think of cheese right ever again

**alixander hamilton** :  
youre welcome

**bugger** :  
I'm leaving you guys are so mean

**sadrien depreste** :  
don't forget about our date tomorrow ;)))

**bugger** :  
I haven't ;0

**alixander hamilton** :  
gross

\---  
 **Marinette has logged out**  
 **LB has logged in**

**CN** :  
great youre here  
so  
i thought alix kubdel was you  
i thought wrong  
tho im pretty sure she also knows who you are

**LB** :  
Great, another one

**CN** :  
yeah see  
i asked her if she was ladybug and i didnt get an answer  
but then marinette pipes up reminding us she was akumatized  
so then she at least knows who you are right??

**LB** :  
Stop talking  
You gave me way too much information

**CN** :  
oh sorry  
so im 100% certain that they both know who you are

**LB** :  
Uh huh  
So what are we gonna do?

**CN** :  
Do you trust them?

**LB** :  
I trust Marinette  
Alix not so much

**CN** :  
yeah same  
ill send her an anonymous letter

**LB** :  
Good luck witht hat I doubt she check her mail  
Or her email

**CN** :  
ill try  
see ya bug

**LB** :  
Bye

**Private message: Alix**

**LB** :  
Alix

**Alix** :  
who  
marinette?

**LB** :  
Yeah   
I have something important to tell you

**Alix** :  
what is it  
and why are you still logged in as lb

**LB** :  
Didn't have time to log out  
So I was talking to Chat Noir a little bit ago

**Alix** :  
yeah?

**LB** :  
And he said some stuff  
Too much stuff

**Alix** :  
and?

**LB** :  
I know for a fact he's in our group chat  
And if you use that tiny brain of yours, then

**Alix** :  
then we could easily find out who he is  
what a dumbass

**LB** :  
No no listen  
Who's the only person in our group chat who has blond hair and green eyes??

**Alix** :  
who?  
oh  
oh shit  
you dont think hes

**LB** :  
I don't think, I know  
Chat Noir is Adrien Agreste


End file.
